How to organize a conference on gender equality!-in Africa-
Assistant: Boss, what shall we include for the next conference on gender equality?
Organizer: Take note. From somebody who organized many events on gender equality, I have gleaned 12 distinct characteristics to make them ‘successful’.
- Used language
English or any other colonial language. Your folks in the village may not understand a word of that, but anyway it was not meant for them.
2. Live on TVs
Hoping that your relatives from the village will miraculously fall on the TB show during their annual visit in the capital city.
3. Whites
These are THE crème-de-la crème, as would say the French. Keep in mind we are trying to ‘copy-paste’ a movement which started in their countries. So, their presence will credibilize our conference on feminism more! No need for them to say anything, their presence is enough. Maybe they can intervene to put us on the right track if we ever get messed up with definitions and historical facts. And, drum roll for the most genius idea: They will appreciate our expansion efforts and can talk better to the International Community for more funds on our behalf. (Wink!)
4. Fancy Venues
-5Star hotels or a chic place, any! As long as it intimidates the villagers-
Entrance requires a certain invitation from a certain whom…. How will the message get to the “grassroots”?…..Let’s cross fingers that the conference bartenders or the hotel security guards will be able to catch some echoes of the conference and take the message back home! Bonus thought: These people in the village are good with bouche-a-oreille, imagination, and storytelling. I am sure they will manage to get the most out of this conference without even being here. As Einstein said “That’s hitting two antelopes with one arrow.” Pure genius, innit? Count it on me!
5. Urban youth
- especially girls from great high schools-
Definitely, these are the pillars of our fight. It will open their eyes on the sad realities of their age mates who are being forced to be married early elsewhere on the continent. Remember that our goal is to make our youth greatly educated again! In addition, they can post videos and selfies on their WhatsApp status and other social media we are not aware of. Again, I noticed something top secret that even Sherlock Holmes wouldn’t get… See, in feminism, there is female. So, let’s invite more girls.
6. Women
If you can get the most successful- that would be fantastic! You never know, they can bring money and their expensive jewels to illuminate this dark side of the room! If you can also get the old ones, that would be spectacular. They can give their touching stories on how they suffered horribly from gender inequality in the past and how they got out of that hell! Recruit those who can easily weep or inspire people, or you’re fired! Lastly, find well-dressed young and beautiful women to portray our new hope.
7. Academics or Experts
How can we forget that! That one is essential. You don’t want people to go home without any statistics that they won’t remember as soon as the break tea comes in! As one of my friend Jesse said:” The more confusing it is, the more convincing it gets.” Foremost, the conference will give the opportunity to those experts to self-congratulate themselves about their amazing job! In a way, we can secure their presences for next time.
8. Politicians or political figures
Why not? No need of a reason to invite a politician. He/she may invite himself as long as he/she is in sitting on the front row or on the panel. Plus, front row seats are empty because normal people like to sit behind. However, expect them to arrive late or leave early! You know-they are busy, and we fooorced them to spare their time for us. (Wink!)
9. Tense mood
The more heated or sadder it is, the more it is a gender equality conference. Men disagreeing with the extremists, women emotionally hurt, B2R scholars confused with the line between philosophy and feminism, spark anything. We want to get out of this conference with hashtag like #Menaretrash or #Theseconferencearewaste.
10. Panels
Make sure that the audience just sit and does not speak much. Keep in mind our goal: Educate those who are already educated with more cliches!!
11. The money for the conference??
Let’s use the one meant for the actual field projects! By chance, the conference will generate some couple of donations which can be used to help a couple of rural girls to attend school.
12. Food and drinks
No sarcastic comment here because we don’t joke with food in Africa.
So, this is the end of my list. If you think I forgot any essential ingredient for a successful conference on feminism, please share with us.
P.S By the way, my article is in English because most people who speak native languages don’t even know what a conference is or that this conference is going to be held. It is exclusively for you, urban people, because you are the only one who need help and can contribute as a far as gender inequality is concerned. (Wink!)
